28/03/1980: Dear Diary: I was at McDonalds with my two friends and girlfriend. But then I saw some absolute unit of a fat fuck ordering at the front. Somehow he’s fatter than I am and I'm 300lbs+. So I really wanted to look tough in front of my girlfriend and friends and shout to him “Hey! You fat fucking tub of grease don’t order too much food and save some for the rest of us you waste of tax payers money!”. What I didn’t expect was him to fucking sprint towards like a fucking battle tank and start beating the living shit out of me! And while he was beating the fucking shit of me I got a mad erection and was rock solid right in the middle of McDonalds where everyone saw! Even my girlfriend! The fat fuck called me a homo and my girlfiend left me right then and there. I went home and cried myself to sleep that night… I’m such a stupid asshole…