01/03/1980: Dear Diary: I was on the toilet to take a huge shit. But no matter how hard I pushed nothing would come out. I kept pushing and pushing because I really needed that shit. But as I pushed a punch of liquid came spewing out of my asshole. Good I thought until I realised some of my entrails had been shit out. Which is... not good. I had to quickly shove it all back inside of me which hurt like a fucking bitch. Didn't help my organs where now covered in my liquid shit. How did I survive this? God helped... I think...