06/03/1980: Dear Diary: I was in bed with my girlfriend when I was fucking her. I was fucking her pretty good but she looked bored so I asked her what was wrong. She said my dick just didn't reach her pleasure spot and that I wasn't big enough. So I quickly grabbed some scotch tape and a razor blade and cut my dick in half, then I taped the cut off end to the other. She screamed at me and ran away calling me psycho. Ungrateful bitch...